Pregnancy for men

The topic of this post might make u think I am outta my mind or the extreme pressure of whole day’s toil paid off in a psychological way. But the reality is, the pregnancy of your wife is also not only her physical situation but also the spiritual and mental maturity transformation of yourself- which most of us (the male) don’t get until they become a father. There is a wise saying that- “ a girl becomes a mother the moment she becomes pregnant, and a man becomes a father the moment his child is born”. I pretty  much agree with that except the “exceptions”…

A man must realize that he is the other half of his wife. It means he has to take a share of all her emotions and feelings. Not be a good friend but also try to shield her away from all that make her feel hard emotions. For me this definition comes in a much more different approach. I am very unrealistic, totally not “down-to-earth” type guy with unpredictable actions (not like action figures !!!) and most of the cases deaf-dead logical reasoning and analytic abilities for the most illogical things. I am also termed as a crazy guy. But all that I am not- is sweetly inherited in my wife’s heart. So me and her combining makes the 100% of life.

This post is not for the explanations of how I am or how I should be. Its how a guy will get prepared to his better half’s carrying his baby. Sharing – caring- shielding- protecting blah blah these are all grammatical bookish things which u already know better than me. But there are plenty of things you also don’t know or you know but didn’t give a thought that to make those incorporated in your husband-hood.

For those guys who are planning to be a father, take a short walk with me in the real life that made me wear helmets even when I sleep at night.

Be very much prepared for the first 2/3 months of your wife’s pregnancy to be a super cool dude ! I mean literally cool. No matter what happened you have to put on your poker face and show that you did not get angry at all. Take a punch in the face and kicks in the teeth and still hang a sweetie sweetie smile on the edge of your lips to make sure everyone is watching that. Be ready to attend office followed by sleepless nights and leaded by as well. At night be very much prepared for anything to come up… If you have seen too many zombie movies, now it’s time to prove you are not scared of them. Coz’ at the dead of the night just the time came when your eyelids were closed automatically, you might get your world rocked and see a zombie rising and asking you in a very monotonous scary voice – “I’m hungry… wanna eat something”… This is not for the faint hearted- go to get some food and if you are wise enough keep some food for stock (this is not for the stock market addicts to buy food company shares  !!!).

After the first delicate few months, the moving goes on easier. Hey wait, did I say easier? Bazzinga !!! (*Note: see “big bang theory”- not the Physics related one, the serial ! The bottom line- I lied !) Yah easier it might be for your better half… coz already you have grey hair here and there… your eyes have dark circles around… you seem to forget names of your friends and they vice versa… and she is getting pretty much used to it (No offence but that’s always different). Taking her to the doctors and making pretty determined strategic plans would be nice now. Also keep in mind the two great business / marketing rules- rule # 1, “the customer is always right” and rule # 2, “rule # 1 is always right”… only this time replace the word “customer” with “Wife”.

Pick and choose the food items for you and your wife very carefully. “coz at the end of the day, its your baby also. And to be more precise, don’t make your wife too fat unnecessarily by feeding her too much fat instead of nutritious and vitamin powered food items. To be over more precise- she’s going to ask you every week how fat she looks… now you decide how much lie you bring out of your mouth that scratches the truth.

Well, after 5/6 months, you can move with her easily and you are now pretty immune or I would rather say pretty used to all the hardships so you keep in mind that she needs you to be mentally relaxed and happy. Take her to places- not too far and not in a crowd - totally safe and sound somewhere. Always carry some extra food and drinking water with you (Even in any invitations, keep some biscuits squeezed in your pocket… or the best way- just go to the host and ask food to be served!)If you drive, then be very cautious about holes and Mt. Everest like speed breakers...(if you are stopped by an officer point at your wife and say need to go to the hospital “RIGHT NOW”…off the record, this one really works, haha…) And yes, now you can sleep nice at night (In case you have nightmares of the recent 2 month’s memory- don’t blame me!)…

But as the wise saying, happy days don’t last for long. And as the nature’s law- the time comes again. Just like the first 2/3 months. Only this time the fact is, last time you grew some grey hair- this time you are going bald…last time you had dark circles around your eyes-this time you see mustard flower all day long…last time you started forgetting your friends’ names- this time they seems to forget your face and when you cross them on your way they say “Valo achhen, chacha” !!!

Come on…It’s not that bad! I am just joking…Bazzinga!...

Well, the truth is, no matter what happens, I really can’t describe the feelings that you might encounter. The hardship, the sleepless nights, the nail-biting anxiety all pays off at a glance when you feel it from your heart. Its not the physical stress or the financial crisis you feel… It’s something you will feel inside your heart when you feel your baby’s movements… when you see the baby’s face in the ultrasound… and that’s when the baby and the baby’s father is born together.

One last line,

Please keep my baby and the mother in your prayers. Hope to write soon again about the last 1 month of pregnancy and after that …

-Scion Anjir

20.04.2011